Archive for August, 2011

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I’m Never Sure

August 15th, 2011

I’m never sure when it comes to really anything how much to attribute to my diabetes and how much to attribute to… me.

For example: did I tire out running up the hill the other day because I had been low the day before, or did I tire out running up the hill because I was… running… up… a hill?

Do I need to pay attention to my hydration because of how that may affect my diabetes or because of how that may affect my strength and endurance?

Stuff I think about that may/may not have to do with my diabetes

Do I have dry skin because it’s summer or because I have diabetes and it’s summer?

Do I wear glasses because I have diabetes or because I’m my father’s daughter?

Am I grumpybecause I’m grumpy or because I’ve been high and I’m grumpy?

See what I mean?

The only kind of answer I’ve reached for myself to this question is to say there is no answer.  I can’t
separate my physical self from my physical self with/without diabetes.  I’m me and that includes my diabetes.  So what, in the end, does it matter whether I have diabetes eyesight or Dad’s eyesight?  They are my eyes.

The main difference I see between the two definitions (me versus me with diabetes, or my diabetes) is that it’s a pretty big wall.  A pretty big wall between myself and people without diabetes.

I don’t get a whole lot of support if that wall is too high.

No one else in my family can understand what it feels like to try to chug up a hill with a blood glucose of 281.  No one else in my family can understand just what it takes out of me to be low for three nights at 2am with an average reading of 46.  They just can’t.  I think they would if they could, because it’s a big part of my life and they’d like to understand, but they can’t.

So yes, I get an immeasurable value from my friends with diabetes because they do understand what those things feel like and that makes me feel less alone.  They know what it’s like to have swinging blood sugars and want to put the whole thing down and get a break from carrying the responsibility of keeping our blood glucose levels as normal as possible all of the time.  They understand just how frightening it is to be so low you don’t know where you are, and come out of that low with wet clothes and freeze until you can change into dry clothes.

It’s just how we live.

Yet, I have a load of clients and friends who need to be concerned about their hydration levels in the warm summer months and cold winter months as they work out.  I have I think more friends than I realize who wear contacts or glasses, or who have had laser eye surgery.  Every single person I’ve ever met has had to take medication for an illness or antibiotics for an infection or gotten shaky if they haven’t eaten.  Each person on the planet has felt grumpy for one reason or another.

We’re all the same in that we are all different in different ways.  Diabetes is just one of my ways.

So yes, I feel everything I feel and need to worry about everything I worry about because of my diabetes.  And I feel everything I feel and need to worry about everything I worry about because I’m me and that’s how I feel and what I worry about.

What do you think about that?  How do you make it work for you and your life?

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Posted in Living with Type 1 Diabetes, Random Musings, Uncategorized

What’s That You Say?

August 12th, 2011

I see 2 slogans/concepts 2 diabetes organizations have built their identities on.  The 2 different organizations are nationwide supporters, according to them, of MY diabetes, but the two concepts confuse me when put together.

The two concepts put into (catch) phrases and slogans:

YOU CANNOT PREVENT TYPE ONE DIABETES

and

STOP DIABETES

The first one is currently displayed on a billboard along the freeway, at the exit for my house.  The
other one hangs on my keychain.

It’s confusing.

Neither one is particularly inspiring on its own for me as a type one diabetic/person with diabetes/my name is Amy.

It isn’t that I don’t understand these organizations need money to keep alive and to accomplish their goals.  It isn’t that I don’t understand that people have determined that making things sound awful is a great way to get donations.

It’s that I feel overlooked.

Overlooked by the two loudest voices out there proclaiming to support me.

It’s confusing.

Maybe they have been instructed by their advertising boards that people in Amarica can’t remember complicated issues.
(I just HAD to leave that typo in.)

It is likely the same “sound bite” and “dumb it down” idea that has hit us all.

But that mentality isn’t what we who live with diabetes actually live.  We live complicated thought
processes 24 hours a day without vacation.  We manage the incredibly complex task of keeping our blood glucose levels in near-normal ranges and continue on with the rest of our daily lives at the same speed as everyone else.

It’s confusing.

So maybe I’ll just need to amend the two campaign slogans at least for myself.  I think I’ll have to add to each so they work for me and for those who I know who live with diabetes.

I think it’ll go something like:

While you cannot prevent type one diabetes, you can absolutely live the life you want by paying attention and taking care of yourself.

When I choose to stop diabetes from preventing me from doing what I want to do, I win.

Won’t fit on a billboard or a keychain, but it seems like a much more accurate and positive fit for me and my life.

What do you think?  What slogans would work for YOU and YOUR diabetes?

 

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Posted in Living with Type 1 Diabetes, My Soapbox, Random Musings, Uncategorized

What I’ve Learned from My Continuous Monitor

August 11th, 2011

I know I’ve often given my Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) a bad rap in my blog.  It has taken me years to get used to it (I first got one in 2008) and even longer to get to a point where I could sort of stand its alarms.

I’m not completely there yet with the alarms, and the inaccurate sensors that I get sometimes DO irritate me.  So I’m not saying everything is rainbows and butterflies; far from it.

BUT, and this is one I’ve been thinking about for a couple weeks now, it gives my blood glucose levels a VISUAL presence and it gives them a VOICE.

And those two things turn into a great big GIANT deal.

I think one of the most dangerous parts of living with whatever form of diabetes you live with is the ability to have no idea for years what your blood glucose levels are.  (Hey, it’s how I existed through high school, so I know.)

They are quiet.  They don’t disrupt often if you’re high.  If you’re low, they will tell you and if you’re lucky or new to diabetes or have been high for a prolonged amount of time, those lows will creep up and whisper “eat!”

They are quiet, and they are invisible.  No one else knows what your blood glucose levels are at any given time. It makes you feel a little isolated a lot of the time.

Blood glucose levels are so crazy easy to ignore, it’s amazing that we monitor them as well as we do.

Yet, having lived denying the need to know what my blood sugars are, and having lived needing to know what they are all the time (checking so many times in a given day it’s a bit overwhelming), I really have come to appreciate my CGM.

First of all, I can look at my pump screen and see what direction I’m heading.  Totally useful when it comes to planning my next move, be it insulin, food, exercise, sleeping, anything.  If I see an UP arrow, I know it is time to check what I’ve got on board and think about taking more insulin to get my blood glucose back in range.

Secondly, the alarms are really useful.  I like that my CGM alarms will interrupt me and tell me to pay attention when I need to pay attention.  Conversely, I also like that I can be in the middle of something and know that I’m in a good range because my CGM hasn’t said anything for a few hours. Beyond even that, if my CGM has been alarming all day long, my husband knows I’m having a tough day without me having to say a thing.

It’s kind of, for me, the difference between plants and pets.  I can’t tell you how many times I have actually watered any plants I’ve had.  I just am not very good at that kind of maintenance.  Sure, I know they need watering, and of course, sometimes I’ll see them and recognize they are looking pretty bad.

But pets will come up, stick their noses in my face, and bark or meow or actually get my attention.  They’ll say HEY FEED ME!  I’M HUNGRY!

It makes things a lot easier when you have some help to pay attention to what you need to pay attention to. 

Score one for my CGM.

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Posted in Living with Type 1 Diabetes, Random Musings, Uncategorized

Scaredy Cat Shudder Squeak Scream FEAR

August 10th, 2011

I don’t like it when people use fear to motivate others.  It feels like a false motivator to me.  I know it can’t last long and I know it doesn’t feel good inside to be afraid of something.

I’m not entirely sure, but it seems somehow like the fear motivator assumes I’m not very smart.

It makes me think of the Second World War when I think about people being motivated by FEAR. (Wholly different fear motivators in
the case of wartime and WWII in particular, of course, and entirely unrelated to intelligence.)

For some with diabetes, it’s a fear of having to take insulin.  For some it’s a fear of going low.  Or high.  For others, it’s fear of amputation or blindness.  For still others, it’s more and deeper and simply terrifying.

While I can understand these fears to a point, I cannot understand nor condone a medical professional using fear to motivate a patient.  It’s like a doctor being a bully to get a desired result.  I can’t refer to that person as a “professional” when they behave more like a thug.

Although, I did meet a lady at a diabetes support group last week who said she lives in constant nearly debilitating fear of diabetes complications.  That fear motivates her to “exercise every day and not eat any bad food.”

While on the surface, those behaviors are healthy for her; however, I can’t help but ask: at what cost?

If you are living with nearly debilitating fear all the time… how is that living?

I understand that some people are just going to wait to deal with any physical issue until they HAVE to.  I think that explains why some kids don’t give themselves shots—if Dad and Mom will do it, why should they
have to?  If someone doesn’t have type two diabetes now and instead has prediabetes, what’s the big deal?  If you’re feeling fine with a BMI of 50 why should it matter?

It should matter to you and for you because YOU matter, and being healthy is intrinsic to living your life and loving and enjoying all there is in your life.  There shouldn’t be ROOM in that equation for fear.

If you can’t see that you are worth it, and your life is worth it, I worry that fear may be the last tool people who care about you have to help you get motivated to make some healthy changes for yourself.

That doesn’t make it any less irritating to see but it does make it much sadder.

In any case, I’m still wary of those who use fear to motivate.

How do you get beyond the fear you have about your life with diabetes?

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Posted in Living with Type 1 Diabetes, My Soapbox, Random Musings, Uncategorized

HOW to get yourself moving

August 9th, 2011

Motivation is a key element of fitness—without motivation all the good intentions and smart ideas in the world will lie inert and be of no good to anyone.

I’m all about politely acknowledging the THEORY behind ideas and then moving quickly into MAKING THEM HAPPEN in real life.  (Always have been; just ask my sister!)

When it comes to weight loss, we can talk and write and read and shop until we’re blue in the face, but unless you actually EAT LESS you aren’t moving toward accomplishing your goals.

The same is, of course, true when it comes to exercise.  I read an interesting tidbit in my Runner’s
World magazine earlier this morning: someone asked the expert whether it was better to eat unhealthily and exercise (in this magazine, run) or whether it was better to eat pristinely and not exercise.  I thought the answer was pretty good: it’s the same thing as asking whether it’s better to shoot yourself in your right foot or in your left foot.  Either way, you’re shooting yourself in the foot!

Along those lines, I will say that I think sometimes people feel a need for more motivation and ideas when it comes to figuring out WHAT kind of exercise to do.

To answer this, I suggest a few ideas for HOW to get your exercise groove on.

1. Redefine Exercise.  Exercise can be any number of movements.  In fact, it can oftentimes be simply that: MOVEMENT.  Not everyone needs the same thing.  A contractor who tears down buildings with his bare hands a la Mike Holmes  may not need or want the same movement-oriented fitness as someone who sits at a desk twelve hours a day.  Perhaps the contractor needs more flexibility training than strength work—so for the contractor, maybe yoga would push him out of his comfort zone and into a new level of fitness.

2. Be Involved in What You Enjoy.  Anyone can go through the movements and turn
off their brains, but it takes a level of involvement to reach a healthy level of fitness.  Don’t try to multi-task your exercise if you are working on reaching a healthy level of fitness.  (No magazines on the bikes at the gym.  No cell phone conversations on a jog.)

If you want to get moving with other people, try a pickup basketball game, or a hilly hike, or even a game of tag with your kids and their friends.  (I also borrow my friends’ dog for some tag every now and again—talk about winding me! She can put me to SHAME!)

Above all, when you are engaged in repetitive motions particularly on a machine at the gym, STAY ENGAGED and keep your focus on what you’re doing while you are there.  If you let your mind wander, you risk losing focus and intensity and not getting the benefits from the moves you deserve.

3. If You Hate It, Find Something Else.  No one suggests that you have to hate what you do for exercise—in fact, it’s the exact opposite!  There are so many different activities that will help you move and be fit that it is a waste of time and energy to force yourself to do something you hate.  This isn’t scales on the piano or multiplication tables—it’s physical movement and activity.  Your body will respond to new things and become stronger as a result of new challenges.
Take a look at your local parks and rec offerings to see if there is a class you might enjoy.  Ever tried Tai Chi?  Karate?  Rock climbing? Golf? Ballroom dancing?  Hip hop?  (Just a sample from a nearby city’s bulletin!)

Have fun out there!

2 comments »

Posted in My Soapbox, My Workouts, Random Musings, Uncategorized

Party of One?

August 8th, 2011

Do you ever eat at a restaurant and have NO IDEA how much bread you ate?  Or
how much rice or pasta you consumed?  Not to mention the chips and salsa…

I get involved in the conversation and sometimes don’t remember how many pieces of bread I ate until they’ve taken away the basket.

Shoot.

At the same time, bolusing for each piece doesn’t seem to work out very well, either.  (I’m sure I look quite disengaged when I’m hunched over staring at my waistband.  Who wants a disengaged dinner date??)

And what about when they ask if you’re ready to see the dessert menu?

(Geez; I’ve just been eating for 45 minutes and they’re asking me about DESSERT?!)

Staying a healthy weight involves managing several of these aspects of dining out with friends.  For me, it means not only passing up dessert, but also telling the wait staff I don’t want a spoon or fork to “share” with someone else.  (It absolutely astounds me how often this request is disregarded.  And yes, I do factor that into the tip!)

For a lot of people, it means asking the restaurant staff to remove the bread basket or tub of chips as they sit down.  For others, it means trying to hold off on eating anything until the meal itself arrives.

For those of us with type one diabetes, our “full” factor may not kick in at all due to the fact we are missing amylin in addition to insulin, so watch for the pace of others at your table and follow their cues.

Whatever you find that works for you, eating out does require awareness and discipline.

Mindless Eating collected some interesting studies on how groups of people eat compared to those eating alone.  Say your average calorie consumption when eating meal X alone at a restaurant is 400 calories.  When you order that same meal while with another friend, you are likely to consume 530 calories (33% more) and if you are dining with three others (family of four) you are likely to consume 630 calories (58% more).  Heaven forbid you dine with seven others; your likely consumption increases by 96%– 784 calories!

It’s the pace of dining that affects us and our calorie consumption according to Dr. Wansink.  “…when you eat with a group, the average amount others eat suggests the amount that’s appropriate for you to eat.”

All of these tips and tricks really do factor in when we are trying to learn or re-learn our eating habits to improve our weight and health.  For the first few weeks of any
new focus on weight loss, it may be smart to avoid as many big-meal dining experiences as you can.  But you know you will return so you may as well start in with some smart strategies early.

Eat as slowly as possible, with utensils, and take several “breaks” by putting down your utensils and sipping water.

Order soup, not salad.

Remember that it takes about 20 minutes for anything you eat to register on your hunger scale—so eat more slowly.  By the time you’ve eaten the bread before the meal and the meal itself you should be so full dessert isn’t necessary.

For me, I am always doing my best at this.  I’m always aware of the pitfalls of too many meals out!  Cooking my own meals is a major help, as is planning dinner during breakfast so I know how to eat the rest of my day.

And, above all, I’m glad I’m married to a tall skinny guy.  I’m always trying to avoid looking like Laurel and Hardy when I’m with him.

I always felt like Oliver Hardy when I weighed the same as my foot-taller husband!

Hey, it’s motivation that works for me.

What works for you?

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Posted in I Can't Believe Someone Got Paid to Conduct This Study, Living with Type 1 Diabetes, Random Musings, Uncategorized, Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me-- Does it have to do with what I eat?

What Are YOU Training For?

August 5th, 2011

I read an article this afternoon and I thought the author brought up a really good point: How Much Is Enough?

Whether you are training for an event like a marathon or weightlifting competition or an ice skating performance or football tryouts, you need to be aware of WHY you are doing what you do with your physical training.

We aren’t all running 5ks, and we aren’t all going out for the soccer team.  Your workouts
should reflect WHAT your goals are, and they should be related to getting you faster, stronger, or more agile.

Your goals should motivate you and keep you focused to work hard and improve your fitness.

It’s always good to think for a little bit about what you want and need out of your exercise routine.  (I hate the word “routine” because I think you need to keep a varied program going to keep your body challenged and your mind engaged.)

Do you want to be able to lift your grandson?  If that kid doesn’t weigh 300 pounds why do you want to be strong enough to lift a 300 pound barbell?

Do you want to be able to do your laundry without hurting your back?  If you aren’t doing body weight and spinal strength and stability exercises, you may be missing the boat.  If you are only doing dumbbell exercises with 3 pound weights, and your laundry weighs 15 pounds, how does that make sense?

Do you want to be able to win the local 10k Turkey Trot held every Thanksgiving? Do you want to qualify for the Olympic team?  Or do you simply want to be able to run the entire distance without having to stop and walk?

Each of these goals is PERSONAL to YOU and reflects who YOU are and WHAT YOU WANT to do in your life.  If your neighbor is bench pressing 135 pounds every night in his garage, you don’t need to automatically feel odd about “only” doing pushups.  It’s what will help you reach YOUR goals that you need to stay focused on!

It’s about what YOU need to stay healthy and avoid injury on your way to achieving the goals YOU want in your life, and what makes sense for YOU.

Go after those goals. They ARE within reach.

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Posted in My Soapbox, My Workouts, Random Musings, Uncategorized

Hydrate Hydrate Hydrate

August 4th, 2011

By the time we make it to August, we’ve been hearing about (not to mention feeling!!) the heat for months.  We’ve moved from “wishing for Spring” to “hating the dog days” in what may feel like a week.

And in the supreme heat you’ve probably heard and read quite a bit about hydration.  But have you been getting the fluids you need?

Do you even know why you need so much?

Well, our bodies are 55-60% water.  (Yes, that means you can multiply the number on the scale by .4 and say the rest is “water weight” if you need to.)  According to the USDA:  Our bodies depend on water to keep our cells and body systems running smoothly. Most importantly, it is used to maintain blood volume, which is imperative for regulating body temperature and delivering oxygen and nutrients to the rest of the body. Water also provides a medium for the biochemical reactions that occur at the cellular level. In addition, water is crucial for the removal of waste products through the formation of urine by the kidneys.

So when it gets so hot outside you can barely breathe, the sweat you use to regulate your body temperature ends up dehydrating you; not only does it become harder to sweat, but your blood volume is diminished and can’t help keep your body at the right temperature.

That’s bad.

BUT, the good news is that you don’t have to drink only water and non-caffeinated beverages to keep yourself hydrated.

Nope: you can eat your water, too.

The more fresh fruits and vegetables you can consume (and the fewer high sodium processed foods) the better for your hydration.

How handy, then, that summer fruits like watermelon and peaches and vegetables like tomatoes and cucumbers are so readily available to us—for some of us, they are right in our back yards!  (Did you know broccoli is 90% water? Broccoli?!)

Rather than foregoing the recommended daily water altogether, when it’s extra hot reach for high-water fruits and vegetables to ensure you are staying healthy, safe, and hydrated.

2 comments »

Posted in Random Musings, Uncategorized, Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me-- Does it have to do with what I eat?

Go Climb A Tree

August 3rd, 2011

Who knew there was a Finnish Forest Research Institute?  Okay, I mean, who in America knew such an institute existed.  I sure didn’t.

Yet this research institute exists and they are not the only scientists currently looking at the interaction between nature and human health.

Guess what they have determined?  NATURE HEALS by “reducing stress, boosting immunity and calming aggressiveness.” Yay!

Why does this matter?

Have you tried to manage your blood glucose during periods of stress?  It gets incredibly difficult, which in turn adds stress, which in turn raises blood glucose… ah, yet another vicious cycle in our lives.

Even if you aren’t living with diabetes, have you noticed how much better you feel after you spend an hour outside around some green trees?

Given that all research points to nature helping us humans to fight stress, boost our immune systems, and even lower our blood pressure, I yet again suggest we all GET OUTSIDE for some great healing through outdoor activities.

Check it out:

  • go for a hike
  • walk with your dog
  • walk with your neighbor’s dog
  • walk with your neighbor
  • have a picnic in the park
  • climb a tree
  • stop at a vista point and get out of your car
  • walk around for 20 minutes after dinner at a restaurant
  • volunteer at a neighborhood road race
  • go camping!
  • throw a Frisbee
  • walk through the ritzy part of the neighborhood and see if you can get some good ideas for your yard
  • hop on a bike and see where you end up (remember to bring glucose for this one in particular)
  • get a little dirty
  • plant some flowers
  • plant some vegetables
  • meet some new neighbors
  • say hello to a stranger

Spend just a moment when you’re outside to reflect on how long those trees have been growing, and how much they’ve seen and survived (not to mention how little the trees care about all of the things we do every day).  It can be pretty humbling!

Nature can give all of us some much-needed perspective about the world.

Maybe that’s the thing we’ve all been missing.

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Posted in I Can't Believe Someone Got Paid to Conduct This Study, Living with Type 1 Diabetes, My Soapbox, Random Musings, Uncategorized

Pouting and Crying

August 2nd, 2011

If you saw yesterday’s blog you know I pretty much pouted my way through the San Francisco Marathon on Sunday.

I think that is pretty lame of me, and someone at the finish line (I thankfully did reach it on my own two feet) put me so squarely in my place it’s almost embarrassing.

The last mile was fortunately flat, and I knew where I was by that point because I knew roughly where the finish line was compared to the ball park.  So, when I got to the ball park I knew I could make it.  (I’ve walked it many times to attend SF Giants baseball games!)

And then, d’oh!, they had us run BEHIND the ball park instead of in front of it (adding maybe a half mile to what I expected).  AND we had to get up a 14 inch curb to do it.

(Let me tell you, it might as well have been a mountain by that point; 14 inches is super duper high after 25 miles.)

So here I am, trying at this point to pick up my pace so I can finish under five hours.  It doesn’t even matter to me anymore what happens, really; I want to get out and be done.

As I am what feels like sprinting but probably looks like just huffing to the finish line and I cross the line, I stop my watch and start looking for my husband, and collect my medal and heatsheet (this is my second one of those and wow do you feel cool when you get one of those!)  and I would
say I’m completely in a daze.

As I’m in this daze, I look to my left just briefly and everything I’ve been rolling around in my brain makes a clank.

I see a woman in tears. 

She just FINSIHED A MARATHON.

Who am I to pout when someone next to me just accomplished this HUGE thing that she has been working for for several months, maybe years, and maybe she was running it in someone’s honor or maybe she was just going after a goal of her own.  I have no idea what she gave up in order to cross that finish line.  I have no idea what she gained along her way. 

I only know that whatever it was she lost and gained was enough to make her cry when she earned that medal around her neck.

And that was enough to (at long last) shut me up. 

I’ve had a number of people applaud what I did on Sunday, which feels so strange.  I don’t see how keeping on going despite how much I was hating it was all that big of a deal that someone should pat me on the back!

But, I guess if it were easy, everyone would do it and it wouldn’t mean that much at all.

I feel like I should apologize to that lady for in some way minimizing something that was such an accomplishment for her; when I was thinking to myself that it didn’t matter I was wrong. 

I don’t like that I in a way felt this marathon was “no big deal.”

I guess we all have our paths and we all have rocks and surprise turns and unhappy detours along the way, and it definitely gets complicated when things like blood glucose levels or body weight or cholesterol levels feel like they aren’t on our side.  We certainly don’t all make it to each finish line with a smile on our faces.

But that shouldn’t stop us from setting goals and working hard and always keeping some sort of finish line in view. 

ESPECIALLY when we get a medal.

We each earn THIS one after 50 years with type one!

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Posted in Living with Type 1 Diabetes, My Soapbox, My Workouts, Random Musings, Uncategorized