Freaking Out

September 27th, 2012 by Amy Gonsalves Leave a reply »

I work hard and feel I have trained myself to freak out less at nearly anything I encounter.  I even married the most laid back person I ever met so that I could learn how (on earth) he does it.

It felt like a compliment the other day when someone mentioned I’m easy going.


I’m pretty darn certain I’m a type A personality.  I mean, I’m pretty determined and focused, and I DO care.  I make lists.  And I write things on those lists I’ve already done, just so I can cross off that I did something on my list.  Because it makes me feel better about my day, my weekend, my entire world.  Just a little bit, just by having things on my list I’ve already crossed off.

I think that is the sort of thing that reeks of “type A”.

And that personality trait/preference is precisely the type of thing that can make life with diabetes incredibly miserable.  A walking ball of anxiety and misery: that’s what I could be.

But I’ve opted to do something different with my diabetes.

I’ve opted to not look at every number that comes up on the screen.  I’ve opted to not think there is a big difference between a 110 and a 120.  (As there isn’t a requirement for meters to be more accurate and we’re all pretty much doing better now than we were doing before meters came on the scene, I figure we are for the most part doing okay with that.  I really don’t think that a more accurate meter with a 2% margin of error is going to enhance my life.)

I’ve opted to instead look at trends, repeated highs or lows that bug me because I feel I could do better at my regular life things I do.  I could sit through a 9am meeting without silencing my CGM from alerting to a high.  I could sleep past 2am without my CGM alerting me to a low.  That could really enhance my life, if I could do those things just by making some minor changes to my BG management.

The trends are where it’s at for me.

But some people who care deeply and intently about a 110 versus a 120 I feel need to take a breath or two.  To look at what they’re anxious about.  Are they feeling responsible for maintaining a non-diabetic A1c? Well here’s the rub: you DO have diabetes.  You DO have a different body than other people.

And there isn’t anything you can do about that.

AND, and here’s the point: THAT IS OKAY.

See?  Isn’t that refreshingly laid back of me?  Whew.

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  1. Sounds like a great approach Amy. I’m excited to watch you through this, and will be sending positive (and relaxing) vibes your way.

  2. Thanks, Scott. I’m not a big freaker-outer, thankfully. This “relax more” thing is a life long project…yet I don’t always mind being type A!! I get a lot of stuff accomplished that I wouldn’t if I weren’t. (Stuff like my law license, full time job, business ownership, daily bootcamps, private clients, and oh yeah marriage and marathon running…and did I mention I have type one diabetes?) :P

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