Judgy Judge Judged

May 20th, 2011 by Amy Gonsalves Leave a reply »

When you’re a little kid or trying to raise a little kid into a healthy adult, or when you’re an adult trying to stay as healthy as possible with diabetes, the self-care involved gets really old really fast.  But so many of us are doing such a fantastic job despite the endlessness and micromanagement and frequent feelings of failure of our self-care, I think we don’t stop enough to congratulate ourselves.

It doesn’t help when others don’t seem to understand what all goes into life with diabetes or seem to judge us for our lack of perfect results all of the time.

I had a strange experience today when I was on the phone (for two hours) with my new health insurance company and mail-order pharmacy and doctor’s office (and then the mail order pharmacy and the doctor’s office again).  The mail-order pharmacy would not deal with me until I spoke with someone (I think at the pharmacy) in the Diabetes Program.


Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I don’t like it when someone other than me or my doctor gets involved in my care.  Or when a pharmacy won’t follow my doctor’s orders until I jump through a hoop.

I’m on the phone and the Diabetes Program lady is asking me all sorts of questions.  Questions like “when were you diagnosed?” that I don’t think have anything to do with anything after 23 years and questions like “do you know your most recent A1c?” and “when is the next time you are going to see your doctor?

I was feeling so completely judged by that point I was glad I was playing solitaire on my computer and could disassociate from the phone conversation.

I don’t understand what on earth she needed to know any of that for, aside from data for the insurance company to compile about the Diabetes Program.  And then they’ll mail me junk mail forever about checking my feet or having my eyes checked.

Oh, joy.

I had to tell her twice I have type one diabetes so I check roughly 12 times a day.  She in turn asked me how often my doctor told me to check my blood sugar.

I tried to not sound like the brat I felt when I replied “she told me to check as often as I feel necessary.”

I wonder if I pulled it off.

I think I at least got through the conversation without calling her any names.  I’m going to feel successful just for that!

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