As a trainer, I ask/tell/demand/beg people to do things all the time. What a great job. (I’m not saying it’s a power trip, but really, sometimes it is.)
The thing about pushing people as a trainer is that I need to know which person needs a push, a kick in the pants, a kind word, and which person needs me to not get in their face that day. It’s part of the gig, and I work on it because my ability to do it effectively and intelligently makes me a better trainer.
A client comes to me because they want help working out, getting fit, losing weight, for a myriad of reasons. I have education, experience, creativity, and compassion that I bring to the trainer/client relationship. But in order for me to help them, my clients need to bring something to the table as well. They need to be willing to put in some work on their goal in order to achieve success.
So when I hear someone say “I can’t do a pushup” or “I can’t run a mile” or “I can’t run down the block” I admittedly have an incredibly short tolerance. I generally know that when someone comes to me they will not be able to do everything I set in front of them. (If they can, what kind of challenge am I providing?) But “can’t” is not permitted.
“Can’t” is such a mental door-closer I would not be an effective trainer and my client would lose out if I let them say “I can’t” and leave it alone. (Let me again say: I do not expect my clients to be able to do everything I ask. I do expect, however, that they are willing to try.)
So when you are next faced with a challenge ahead of you, try using what I consider to be a pretty powerful word. Follow up that “I can’t” with a “yet” and everything changes.
“I can’t do a pushup yet” keeps you mentally precisely where I need you to be: realistic and willing to work to achieve success. “I can’t run down the block yet” shows that you know physical fitness is a process, not an end destination. Keep at it and keep putting one foot in front of the other, and pretty soon you will be at the end of the block, still running, looking for your next challenge.
Celebrate your accomplishments when you achieve them and set a new one ahead. This success will give you one of the greatest confidence boosts of all time—you couldn’t do something before but you put your mind right and you worked at it and achieved it.
Keep up the awesome work.
