It Isn’t That I’m Not Angry

July 30th, 2012 by Amy Gonsalves Leave a reply »

I don’t know what it means, but I don’t tend to get mad at my insulin. Or my pump. I do get irritated by my CGM, though, like I would by some loud little brother who Won’t. Shut. Up.

Anyway, I tend not to get angry at my diabetes. I just don’t. I’m simply not angry with my pancreas for failing to withstand the onslaught of self destruction 25 years ago.

What purpose would any of that serve?

Is it that I’m too pragmatic to feel anger is useful? Is it that I’m just so relieved to not be as afraid as I was for so long? Was I in denial and didn’t know I was angry in high school, so now the whole concept of going anywhere near any of that is exhausting?

Probably a little of all of those.

I AM angry at the thousands of medical professionals and marketing campaigns and diabetes organizations who portray diabetes as something we all “suffer” with and are “debilitated” by. I’m angry that it feels they are using fear as a motivator to either sell products, encourage compliance, or generate sympathy.

When I asked Diabetes Outside Facebook fans a number of months ago if they wanted pity or respect when it came to their lives with diabetes, no one said they wanted pity.

So why are companies skewing the reality of life with diabetes and thus encouraging these notions of diabetes as terrible and overwhelming?

Well, actually, I don’t care what advertisers do; I understand their goals are different than mine. But the medical profession?! Come on.

When a toddler falls down, the smarter adult will check the kid out from a bit of a distance before making a big fuss—if it’s just a tumble, the toddler will make a huge fuss if the adult does so first.  They watch us to learn how they are supposed to react.  I think it’s the same way with a diabetes diagnosis.  It’s difficult, and we will for sure have bumps and bruises along the way, but being frightened by a medical professional sharing needless horror stories is just not the best way to get through every day with this disease.

When it comes to those of us completely overwhelmed by our diagnosis and our daily lives with diabetes, I say: you can do this.  It will help if you find professionals who treat you the way you deserve to be treated—with respect, and with understanding, but without condescension. 

We all had lives before we were diagnosed that we want and need to continue.  That we should and can continue.

We now just take our diabetes along for the ride.

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