I worry that now I’m becoming too attached to my CGM. Alright, this one isn’t really a “worry” but just an occasional thought. At least for now.
I took off my CGM yesterday afternoon because the sensor was kaput. I didn’t put in a new one since I didn’t want to deal with the timing required of a new sensor and the fact I would need to check in the middle of either dinner out (knowing I wouldn’t hear my pump beeping at me over the restaurant noise) or in the middle of the night. I hate when my pump wakes me up in the middle of the night, so when I can avoid it, I do.
Which meant that last night I went to bed with a blood glucose of 159, a correction suggestion of 0.6 units, a bolus suggestion of 0.0 units, and active insulin of 3.5 units.
Ut oh.
I know from recent history that I won’t wake up for a low until I’m really really low, and that will basically ruin my next day because I’ll be extra tired from waking up and from being so low. For now, I rely on my CGM and dream of my as yet unborn and may-remain-a-dream diabetes dog.
But it’s very difficult for my CGM to alarm when I am low if I don’t have a sensor in and my CGM is in the bathroom, recharging.
So, I lowered my basal for a while and had a little snack, and went to sleep with hope on my mind.
And woke up this morning at 303.
I guess that snack wasn’t so little. But you know what? I slept GREAT.
And sometimes, that is important. I know I won’t hit my target 100% and I know I need to plan for as much as I can plan for, but after I’ve done that, I just have to let it go.
And that includes when I guess wrong, or eat more than I think I’ve eaten, or when I forget to bolus or when I didn’t see the “active insulin” number on my pump screen.
This is the kind of thing I mean when I say live your life first. Do what you need to do and keep your diabetes in its place. You know you can’t get 100% of your meter readings in range, and you know that you have a lot to juggle. Sometimes, when one of the things you’re juggling flies away, just take a deep breath first. Enjoy that one moment and the deep breath and know you need it.
Then go get it and start juggling again, with a renewed appreciation for the work you do with your diabetes and your life.
You deserve it.
