The Diabetes Monologue

November 19th, 2010 by Amy Gonsalves Leave a reply »

I was listening to John Madden on the radio this morning (love him) and he mentioned, probably without realizing it, a play someone ran in a game last year. 

It made me think.

I know a lot of things, and I pay attention to a lot of things, and I go a lot of places and I perform a lot of tasks and play a lot of different roles every day of my life.  But a play from a year ago and most of the 13,007 cases I had to read in law school and I think who actually done it in nearly every mystery I’ve ever read no longer exists in my brain.

I don’t think there is any room inside there; I don’t even know if there ever was!

I really don’t think it’s age related.  I think I have less room in my brain than the Average Jane has for storing information on TV shows, cartoon plot lines, or what have you. 

I think I have a considerable chunk up there reserved for my diabetes information

If you don’t have diabetes, have you ever thought about how much goes into trying to function for one organ?!  I am constantly amazed, and I have been doing it for more than 20 years! 

what I had for breakfast and what that’s going to do to my blood sugar by lunch and what my number was and what day of the month it is and what basal rate am I at and did I go on a temporary basal this morning and did I do extra exercise with the bootcampers and why didn’t I eat a snack and did I bring candy with me and what am I planning to do after work and how many miles is that and is it unusually hot or cold outside and how long will the aftereffects of the marathon impact my metabolism and my basal rate and how is my basal rate do I need to run tests on that again I hate those and am I going to go do a heavy weight workout after work or am I going to run and if I run how long am I running for and how fast and will it be fast enough to change the insulin/food I need and what am I going to do to prevent a swing if I run and if I am going to do heavy weight work how heavy and when was the last time I did that and the time before when I hadn’t done heavy weight work and then I did it what happened to my blood sugar and how likely is that to happen again and am I going low right now in fact what is my blood sugar right now I should check and when was the last time I checked and did I bolus and where is my meter and when is the next meal and what am I going to eat and how much insulin is that going to take and how much insulin is left in my pump do I need to change my site when was the last time I changed my site and

So, yes: I’ll say it:  My brain is not like the brain of a person without diabetes.  My brain does all the same things their brains do, and it does that diabetes monologue.  And I have to store a lot of that information for future reference, too.

It’s kind of a shame, really.  I could use some of that extra space. 

There are a lot of football games and cartoons and mysteries out there.

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  1. Auntly H says:

    I think that is pretty much exactly what it sounds like in my brain (minus the stuff about the marathon).

  2. Renee says:

    Hahahaha, that is EXACTLY what it sounds like in my head! And people wonder why I get anxious or have trouble relaxing sometimes…

  3. I wonder what would happen if we each wrote our diabetes monologue out sometime… timed ourself for 2 minutes and wrote it out, then printed it. When someone looks at us like we are out to lunch or confusing for them, we could just hand them the sheet and say: “I do this all day every day.”

  4. Sam says:

    Hellllo, I’m sam, 15 years old, dealing with diabetes for 14 years now. I’m a sophomore and we’re writing plays in theatre. I love all of the things you said here, and I was wondering if you would mind if I took it and revised it for a character in my play? Thanks

  5. Hi Sam, if you credit me/Diabetes Outside then yes you can use it! I’m sure after 14 years of type one you’ve got your own diabetes monologue going on in there too.

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