I kind of structure my life so that I am an open book. It just seems easier that way.
When it comes to my diabetes, I am the same way. Sure, that means I end up answering some of the same questions a lot, and it isn’t always the most convenient time for me to take a moment and explain something, but I would much rather be an open book than have others question my disease in silence.
I’m certainly not quiet about my diabetes at the law office. I check all the time (I swear; all the time!) at work and eat often. It’s a small and friendly office, so I’ve been discussing my diabetes there for years.
But yesterday I learned something new.
I learned that my friends perceive me and my diabetes a lot differently than I perceive myself and my disease.
We were discussing a friend of a friend who also has diabetes and had experienced two separate low blood sugars (can you believe after 23 years I still have to think about “is that hyp-O or hyp-ER”) and lost consciousness.
While driving.
Twice.
I tried to explain to my friends how a sudden low blood sugar can happen, how it is not at all the person’s “fault” and how, perhaps hypocritically, I think probably an insulin change may not be the only thing that this person needs in order to be re-awarded a driver’s license.
And then one of my friends said to me that she was glad I never need to worry about that happening to me.
And I literally heard my brain process that comment. Its response was: KA-THUD.
“What?!” I replied. “Sure I do!”
It was interesting that she thought that because I check my blood sugar and wear a pump and CGM that I somehow am not at risk of a low that blindsides me to the point I need medical attention.
I logically understand this is a great perception and one I want to encourage in others, that I don’t let having diabetes prevent me from taking charge in my life. I think it just felt odd to me to see how truly my friend believes that to be true.
While I don’t let my diabetes prevent me from doing much of anything that I want to do, I do know that my disease is serious and has serious outcomes if I ignore what my body tries to tell me. (Or, for that matter, what my meter, pump, or CGM try to tell me. Or my friend’s D4D!)
I also know that there are times when I need help from others when it comes to a low or even a high blood sugar.
I don’t consider any of this—any need for help I may have at any given moment—a drawback in my life. I don’t consider needing help a weakness in the slightest. In fact, I think it’s really great that I DO have people in my life who CAN and WILL help… even those people who I have never met.
And I assure you, I know that I do need that help. I need to know it’s there when I don’t physically need help, and I need to call on it when necessary.
And knowing that makes me feel luckier than nearly anything else.
