I don’t like to use this blog to toot my own horn (who needs more of that; have you watched TV lately?!) but I do think it is important to use milestone days to mark progress in our lives.

23 years ago this afternoon, I was diagnosed with type one diabetes.  That photo is of me 23 years ago exactly.

Stopped at home after my doctor diagnosed me. On my way to the hospital for my four day stay.

It still makes me sad to see it.  I was such a sick little girl!!

I know a lot of people refer to their diagnosis date as their diabirthday.  I never have, and I don’t think I ever will, in large part because I don’t think I was born that day! 

I’ve always been me.  Before and after diagnosis.  Sure, I lost my way at times, and sure, I spent years in fear of my diabetes.  But I’ve always been me.

I'm the one in purple; my diabetes is black; circa 1993.

THAT is one thing I’ll celebrate today. 

Another thing I’ll celebrate today is a year of blogging!  I hope some of you have found some of the posts amusing, thought-provoking, motivating, informative, and I hope most of the posts you have read have assured you that you are not alone with your struggles with diabetes.

Yet another thing I celebrate on the anniversary of my diagnosis?  I celebrate that I’m not that sick little girl anymore. 

I celebrate that I’m not the scared teenager anymore. 

I celebrate that my diabetes led me to the people I’ve gotten to meet and learn from that I wouldn’t know existed were I never diagnosed. 

I celebrate and am thankful for each of these things, and never ever take any of it for granted. 

If I hadn’t gone through any of those struggles, I wouldn’t be who I am.  I wouldn’t be able to relate to those currently struggling and I wouldn’t know I could help families, parents, kids, teens, and adults living with diabetes.  I wouldn’t be motivated to take care of my body in the same way: through exercise, healthy living, and with gratitude and I hope grace and humility (today excepted).

Thank you for being a part of my life with diabetes, and thank you for inviting me into your life!

Amy

I keep seeing on various diabetes related posts and pages and websites a repeating question that rubs me the wrong way.  Two questions, really, and neither of them are inherently bad on their own. 

It’s the ORDER and TIMING of them that gets me.

The first one is “how are you?” which is a fine question that helps us move through the world and our days.

It’s the immediate next question, or horror of horrors, the question posed first: “how are your numbers?”

I want there to be a LOAD of time in between those two questions.  I want to answer “how I am” completely, which maybe 5-10% of the time may involve mention of a blood glucose level, and then tell you what my hopes and dreams are for the next hour, day, week, year.  Where I’m going and what I’m doing.

But the “how are your numbers” will sidetrack me every time if I haven’t been allowed to tell you WHO and how I am, first.

Since I’m a lot more than a type one diabetic. 

I’m just like anyone else.  I just think about my diabetes while I’m doing everything else most anyone else does.  (I think this may explain why a lot of people tend to “hide” the fact they have diabetes from other people in their lives.)

Thankfully I tend to get these questions too close together from people I don’t know.  People I may consider acquaintances.  But I used to get it from my family members a really long time ago.  It’s just what they thought about me, I guess.  They worried about my diabetes.

But I think the more they worry about my diabetes, the less they see ME and that right there is a massive problem that needs to end as quickly as possible.

Fortunately in my life I’m pretty sure it has ended, and I’m doing a fairly good job maintaining my identity on its own separate and distinct from my disease.

This all factors into the March challenge because I think both sides (diabetes side and non-diabetes side) need to recognize this phenomenon out there.  Every person needs time in their day, every day, where they focus on being themselves even if it’s for two minutes.  And for some of us our diabetes will come with us because it’s a part of who we are… but never ever EVER the entire part, or the most interesting, or the most dramatic or emotional.

Next time someone asks you how your numbers are before they ask you how you are, I say: don’t answer.  Don’t answer until you tell them your diabetes is just a tiny part of who you are, thank you very much.  

Have a good one.

How has week one of the March Challenge been treating you?  Have you been thinking about ways to ask for help or ways to help your son or daughter living with diabetes? 

This blog is primarily directed at parents with pre-teen and teenage kids with type one diabetes.  Note that ALL parents of kids need to think about these issues because even if your son or daughter is four years old right now, these issues will be in front of you before you know it.

Diabetes Forecast featured another article on Nick Jonas this issue (March 2011).  It’s entitled “Checking in with Nick: the pop star grows up” He sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders at least for now.  Good job, Nick! 

They asked him whether his feelings about his type one diabetes have shifted from the time of his diagnosis at age 13 to now, when he is 18.  I like his response:

“One of the biggest changes has been that I think the mind-set of a man came on when I was diagnosed, at 13—realizing this is something I had to take on, on my own, and grab hold of.  Obviously, I had the help of my parents and doctors, but I’m an independent parson, and I really rely on myself in situations like these.  I have been independent for a while—I just am that way—but when it comes to my diabetes, in the past four to five months, I’ve been taking even more responsibility.  I’m really taking it on myself—relying on friends and family when needed, but knowing this is something that I have, that I have to deal with.

It’s just about, with my parents and my family, knowing they’re there when I need them, but also that they trust me enough to take care of it myself, which is important for me…”

If you are a parent of a teen living with type one diabetes, do you think they would say that their parents trust them to take care of some diabetes things on their own?

I’m guessing they wouldn’t say that in large part because how many teens compliment their parents voluntarily, really.  But think about it for a minute:

DO YOU TRUST YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER WITH ASPECTS OF THEIR DISEASE?  Do you trust that they will be able to ask for juice or a soda if you aren’t there?  Do you trust them to flag their own low blood sugar?  Do you trust them to count their carbs accurately?

If you don’t trust them to do any of those things, is there a reason you don’t trust them?  Is that reason itself preventing the development of that necessary trust?

I’m sure you don’t trust them with all of these issues all of the time, and that may very well be appropriate.  But you all need to work toward a balance every day as your teen transitions into a young adult.

No one benefits from a micromanaging parent who is so afraid of what “might happen” that they prevent their son or daughter from ever taking over management of their own diabetes. 

Now is the time to think about ways you can work with your son or daughter on their diabetes—just like you work with them on everything else. 

Taking out the trash, making their beds, being on time, completing homework assignments, changing sites, counting carbs, checking blood sugars before bed.  They are each responsibilities kids with diabetes need to learn, accept, and master. 

I’m here if you are looking for support with your daughter or son as they wrestle their tough teen years.  We all want them to make it out with as few scars, bumps, and bruises as possible!!

I think it’s time for a challenge for each and every one of us.  I’ve decided March is our Magical Month for this one.

Don’t worry: this is a good challenge.  There is one for people living with diabetes themselves and a special parent challenge too.

In fact, there are probably some of us who can meet the challenge in a couple of days!  But I still want you to work at it all month.

I’ve learned in the past few years that asking for help is not the sign of weakness I once believed it to be: instead, I’ve learned that asking for help is really a sign of strength.

Especially when it comes to living with diabetes.

So the challenge for your month (for those of you with diabetes) is to figure out ways someone else can help you with your diabetes, and ask for that help.

I have met countless diabetics who have done amazing things on their own.  (In fact, I admit I am probably one of them.)  They have managed this incredibly complex disease since childhood with a fair amount of grace and an impressive amount of perseverance AND accomplished great things in the rest of their lives to boot.

So this one may be hardest for those folks used to doing things on their own. 

I want everyone to take a few minutes this week and figure out one thing that you can ask someone else for that would alleviate one part of your diabetes for even a minute.

Then, once you’ve figured out what that is, ask for it.  Ask for it BEFORE you need it, and let the person know why you’re asking: because you TRUST them and because no matter how small it is, it will HELP YOU with your diabetes.

It may be as simple as “be quiet when I’m changing my site” or “walk through a glucagon drill so I can rest assured you know how to do it” or “bring me juice” or “know where I have low food in my desk drawer” or “drive me to my doctor’s appointment” or, if you are especially brave, “check my blood sugar for me”.  (For the record, I’m not that brave yet.)

The point is that these things are each examples of things that we know they don’t NEED to do.  In fact, we’ve gotten along just fine without them, thankyouverymuch.

But that isn’t what this challenge is about.  This challenge is about learning to let go a little of the burdens you carry.  It isn’t about the burden feeling heavy or large or really anything at all particular to the burden—this is about SHARING your diabetes in however small or large way as you choose. 

Now, PARENTS, you have a similar challenge.  This one is to think of one thing to GIVE your son or daughter to be in charge of.  If it is “restock the diabetes supply cabinet” or “make a list of the low food you can reach from your bed and from your desk at school” or “text me your number after school” or “count the carbs on your plate” or “change your site without me in the room” again, it doesn’t matter.  What matters for your son or daughter is that they learn in small and increasing ways how to live with their diabetes on their own, every day.  Because there will come a time they need to share their disease with a girlfriend or roommate or neighbor or coworker and they need to know how to be responsible for their own health, and how to ask for help and how to receive that help with grace and appreciation.

Dignity and respect are critical for each of these challenges, be it parental or individual.  No one is saying anyone is doing a poor job managing their diabetes!  No one is saying they should micromanage less.  No one is saying more needs to be done.

The challenge is simply to recognize and practice that people in our lives whom we love can also serve a FUNCTION for us with our diabetes.  It’s simply our job to know what to ask for, and to appreciate sharing the burden.

Good luck.

I kind of structure my life so that I am an open book.  It just seems easier that way. 

When it comes to my diabetes, I am the same way.  Sure, that means I end up answering some of the same questions a lot, and it isn’t always the most convenient time for me to take a moment and explain something, but I would much rather be an open book than have others question my disease in silence.

I’m certainly not quiet about my diabetes at the law office.  I check all the time (I swear; all the time!) at work and eat often.  It’s a small and friendly office, so I’ve been discussing my diabetes there for years.

But yesterday I learned something new.

I learned that my friends perceive me and my diabetes a lot differently than I perceive myself and my disease.

We were discussing a friend of a friend who also has diabetes and had experienced two separate low blood sugars (can you believe after 23 years I still have to think about “is that hyp-O or hyp-ER”) and lost consciousness. 

While driving.  

Twice.

I tried to explain to my friends how a sudden low blood sugar can happen, how it is not at all the person’s “fault” and how, perhaps hypocritically, I think probably an insulin change may not be the only thing that this person needs in order to be re-awarded a driver’s license. 

And then one of my friends said to me that she was glad I never need to worry about that happening to me.

And I literally heard my brain process that comment.  Its response was: KA-THUD.

“What?!” I replied.  “Sure I do!” 

It was interesting that she thought that because I check my blood sugar and wear a pump and CGM that I somehow am not at risk of a low that blindsides me to the point I need medical attention. 

I logically understand this is a great perception and one I want to encourage in others, that I don’t let having diabetes prevent me from taking charge in my life.  I think it just felt odd to me to see how truly my friend believes that to be true.

While I don’t let my diabetes prevent me from doing much of anything that I want to do, I do know that my disease is serious and has serious outcomes if I ignore what my body tries to tell me. (Or, for that matter, what my meter, pump, or CGM try to tell me.  Or my friend’s D4D!) 

I also know that there are times when I need help from others when it comes to a low or even a high blood sugar. 

I don’t consider any of this—any need for help I may have at any given moment—a drawback in my life.  I don’t consider needing help a weakness in the slightest.  In fact, I think it’s really great that I DO have people in my life who CAN and WILL help… even those people who I have never met. 

And I assure you, I know that I do need that help.  I need to know it’s there when I don’t physically need help, and I need to call on it when necessary.

And knowing that makes me feel luckier than nearly anything else.