Archive for April, 2010

Random Annoyance of Living with Diabetes

April 7th, 2010

So the last thing I ever want this blog to be is me complaining about my disease.  I’m not saying I don’t complain, and I’m not saying that complaining doesn’t have its place, but I just don’t think everyone else needs to read me complaining about living with diabetes and I don’t think I need to spend time spell-checking my complaints listed in paragraph form.  We all thankfully have a LOT more productive ways to spend our time.

That said, I do want this blog to be a place for people who live with the disease to feel like they are not alone, and I want this blog to open up a dialogue for those who do not themselves have diabetes and for them to have a window into what it is like some days to live with the disease.

So, today, I will point out my current random annoyance that I attribute directly to my diabetes. 

It is on my right index finger.

It is a little black dot.

It has been there for over a week.

Please make it go away. 

It is bugging me.

The little black dot is just a little bit of blood trapped under layers of skin/my fingerside callous from a blood check a few days ago.  It doesn’t hurt, it isn’t doing anyone any harm, it isn’t a signal of anything.  Just a little bit of old blood trapped under my skin.

But man, is it annoying.

Have I mentioned it’s black?

I’ve tried using my favorite “get rid of any hangnail or rough spot overnight” hand/foot cream and it hasn’t moved.  If I remove the skin covering the spot, it will hurt since the skin is still alive and it’s my right index finger.  So I just have to wait for it to go away on its own as my skin cycles up, out, and off.

At camp, the wise medical director told me once she knows immediately if a kid regularly checks their blood glucose because it’s dirty at camp and the little holes in fingers on dirty hands catch dirt, so you can see the holes if they check their blood glucose.  Smart.  (Smarter than my own doctors when I was a kid and teen, I assure you.)

So I never mind the little holes, since they tell me I’m doing a good job gathering data and managing my disease.

It’s just this black dot I mind.

Have I told you it’s been there over a week?

If I had one day to live without diabetes

April 6th, 2010

I watched the CNBC show D-Life on Sunday, and they had a story that made me think.  The reporter (a guy living with diabetes) was asked what he would do if he had 24 hours to live without diabetes.  In order to answer his question, he asked a few of his friends living with diabetes. 

So I ask you: what would you do if, for 24 hours, you didn’t have diabetes?

There was a guy who said he’d eat a donut.  I think that is a cop-out answer, for the record, but his point was a pretty good one.  He said he would eat like he used to eat.  Then he recognized that if he ate like he did before he developed diabetes, all he would do was develop diabetes again.  But he still said he’d eat a donut.

Another lady said she’d carry a smaller purse.  Then she yanked from her purse a full jug of glucose tablets.  Hmm.  I’m sure that there are smaller containers, and I’m pretty sure you rarely have need for 50 glucose tabs at any one time.  But again, I got her point.  She has to carry a lot of stuff with her.  We all do.

Another guy said he would sleep.  I guess he is always concerned about going low when he’s asleep.  This is a valid concern, but I never seem to have trouble sleeping—I have more trouble when my continuous glucose monitor tells me I’m 80 and wakes me up every 20 minutes while I’m trying to sleep!  So that response made me sad; I think there are a lot of ways to prevent going low while you sleep, or to protect yourself from going low so you can rest.

Another lady said she’d go diving for a few hours.  With the faster insulin and insulin pumps (no long acting insulin on board), we can’t be unconnected for very long.  I start to freak if I’m off for more than an hour.  Just me, but it is a pretty small window for any of us to be disconnected.

There were a few more variations on these themes, but the one thing that everyone said was that they would get to stop THINKING that day.  Living with diabetes really does mean that our minds are always running, always doing our best to function for our body in a way few others do. 

Some days that feels like a burden, of course, and some days, believe it or not, it feels pretty good.  We are doing an absolutely amazing thing when we can function for our pancreas.  Go us.

Cure, schmure. (I have to stop naming these blog posts at 3am.)

April 5th, 2010

I watched a part of Diabetes Live on TV yesterday on CNBC.  (If you had any question before now, here is the official answer: yes, I am a diabetes nerd.)  I always forget this show exists; I guess that speaks volumes about the prevalence of type 2 diabetes in the world today that we as diabetics get a whole TV show about it!  I don’t think type 1 diabetes is a major enough disease out there to garner its own show.  Nicole Johnson was the host—remember her?  The Miss USA who wears an insulin pump?  Brought back memories for me of when we had her poster on the office wall at camp. 

Watching the show left me with two questions: one that has an actual answer (I’m sure it’s out there someplace) and one that I thought was perfect blog fodder.  To demonstrate my new blogging skill and dexterity, I’m going to blog on the “actual answer” question today and on the other one tomorrow.  Whoa.

The JDRF and Mary Tyler Moore had a commercial with all kinds of kids with type 1 diabetes and their families.  Knowing the JDRF’s mission is to find a cure for type 1 diabetes, and knowing that type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease, it got me to wondering whether or not a cure is even possible for type 1 diabetes.  I know it doesn’t exist now, but I just wonder if it is even possible to cure any autoimmune disease.  I kind of don’t think so, and Google hasn’t yet told me I’m wrong.  (If you know of one, please share!!  Seriously; this kind of thing keeps me up at night.)

JDRF has raised so much money I just sometimes wonder if they are going after the wrong goal.  Of course all the kids on the commercial were joyfully hugging their parents and MTM, but I must say that after 22 years, I’m not looking for a cure.  I want all the best research on treatment, but a cure is not on my priority list.  It isn’t on any of my lists.

I was ten when diagnosed, and I was so excited and so hopeful when all the literature that passed in front of me related to diabetes said “cure within 5 years”.  22 years later, I still see “we are so close to a cure” a number of places.  I guess I’m bitter about that misplaced hope and misdirected energy.  I think that saying there is a cure or that a cure is close fosters a bad reaction. 

If you think you just have to hold off dealing with your disease for a couple years and you’ll no longer have diabetes, no kid is going to deal with their disease.  Type 1 diabetes doesn’t get better.  It only gets easier to live with after you can realistically fit it into your life, learn to live with it and ultimately accept your disease.

Let’s make that acceptance our new goal.  So much simpler, and so much more rewarding.  And POSSIBLE.

(Like you need more reasons to exercise:) WORKING OUT INCREASES YOUR CONFIDENCE

April 3rd, 2010

 I think we all spend a lot of time being down on ourselves.  Too much time, when we consider how short life really is—why would you want to waste any moment of your precious time telling yourself you aren’t good/smart/happy/rich/strong enough?? 

So let’s look for ways we can make POSITIVE changes and POSITIVE self talk a priority in our lives. 

Looking around at quick options to make these critical changes, gee, what could we do…? OH, LOOK! WE COULD EXERCISE!! 

Granted, I am biased on this subject.  However, my bias comes not only from my own experience seeing what happened to me when I changed my body by making food changes and exercising, but I see it every month at bootcamp. 

Every month a new bootcamp session starts and we get new people to the program.  The first week they don’t say anything.  The second week they smile more but are still quiet.  The third week, they smile and talk, and by the fourth week they act like they are part of the gang.

Exercise involves demands on your body.  These demands can be large or small, and every time you start an exercise program it is likely going to feel like a huge demand.  Your mental and physical responses to those demands are what counts. 

Mentally, you have to have some discipline to get yourself to do something another part of you doesn’t want to do.  It might just be “get out of bed a half hour earlier” or it might include “keep going” or even “speed up.” 

Physically, you also need to have discipline to reach or hold a position, or push a weight through your range of motion, and to endure the soreness of your muscles that reflect your body doing something to which it isn’t accustomed.

But what happens after you have made those demands on your body and know your mental and physical responses after a few weeks is one of the magical things about exercise: YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.  That knowledge is worth a heck of a lot.  (I don’t need to tell you that—you’re the one who paid the price!)

The next time you come across a mental or physical demand, you realize that you have met such demands before and emerged victorious.  You have a quiet confidence that you can take with you wherever you want to go.  So turn down the volume on any negative self talk, and turn up the volume on your positive self talk.  You know you can do it; you already did.

Good for you.  Keep it up.

(Like you need more reasons to exercise:) WORKING OUT IS GOOD FOR YOUR MIND

April 1st, 2010

Exercise helps not only your physical body but your brain as well.  This means that not only can you look good strutting around the beach, you can sound smart too.  Beauty AND brains.  What a deal.

One main benefit of exercise (there truly are so many it’s hard to choose just one) is an increase in blood flow throughout your body.  When you’ve got more blood pumping around, some of it is bound to get all the way to your brain.  With an increase in blood flow through your brain, you will feel and be more alert and focused.  (Remember all those studies about kids being better students when they have recess?  Same thing.)

With increased blood flow to your brain, you are better able to preserve your brain tissue that starts to decline with age.  The use it or lose it mantra applies to your brain just like it applies to your body.  Similar to how a physical therapist moves paralyzed limbs to keep blood flowing through the limbs and preserve tissue, you need to use your brain and keep nutrient rich blood feeding your brain tissue in order to preserve that tissue.  Start it now, at any age, and keep it up for the sake of your mind!

You should want to treat your body better than you treat your car.  You can always buy a new car.  But a body?  A brain?  You only have one.  ONE.  For your ENTIRE LIFE. 

Living with diabetes, you know what happens when something in your body stops functioning the way it should.  Why risk the same thing with other organs like your brain and muscular and skeletal systems?  Please treat your body better than you treat your car.  Exercise can be so fun, and takes so little compared with its huge rewards.