Muddling Through Transitions

September 17th, 2010 by Amy Gonsalves Leave a reply »

I have been having a weird couple of weeks lately, full of transitions.  I am not a fan of transitions because I feel like my life works better when I can plan and I can’t plan very well for what I don’t know will happen.

I think my workouts and diabetes have both suffered a bit. 

My husband has been working really long hours and night shifts, so we aren’t seeing much of each other.  The problem I have with that is not only do I miss him, but he often makes dinner when I’m exercising.  Having dinner together means we eat vegetables and a full meal—I’m not so good at full meals when I’m randomly by myself.

I have also felt a bit of a slump as I come down from my post half-marathon high and see the full marathon ahead of me on Halloween.  Running has been far from my thoughts—farther that I would like, this close to a marathon!

And I have been busy mentally and physically planning to start a new chapter of my bootcamp life as I leave employment of nearly 5 years and go out on my own.  Scary stuff at any time, but with economic news what it is, I continually debate whether I am doing a smart or foolish thing.

Which is all to say, I am a bit worn out.  The effects of these kinds of transitions ripple through my daily life, of course, and it takes some stern focus to keep at it.  My highs and lows seem random, and I don’t feel like I can really divert my attention right now to get fully back on track.

So, I muddle through.

I also make sure to take time, even if it is 5 minutes, to do things that bring me peace and help me take a mental break.

I got some books from the library yesterday.  I bury my face in the fuzzy bellies of my two cats.  I play puffball with George and string with Gracie.  I listen to my bootcampers sharing aspects of their daily lives a little bit more intently. 

I try to escape completely, just for a little bit, from my thoughts.  I think I would be a mess of tangled nerves if I didn’t.

I scale back on my workouts, and lift lighter weights, do shorter workouts, and plan runs with friends instead of trying to push myself alone.    

I’ve been in these transitions before, more times than I care to list.  Like I said, I’m not a fan!  But knowing I’ve been through them before helps me to relax through this one and keep my focus.  Knowing that if I worry too much about my blood sugars or my exercise or my eating or whether I am arriving early or late each day I will only wear out sooner, and have nothing to show for it.  Knowing that the small things today are only temporary, and my recent blood sugars will quiet down, and things will work out in the long run.  And knowing how important it is to take those small moments of joy and really experience them for what they are—a moment of joy and relaxation in the midst of transition and what sometimes feels like turmoil.

Maybe I’m growing up a little.

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  1. Kathy Allbright says:

    Amy, let me first say that you are an angel- your personal insight is so appreciated. Second, let me say that my annual eye exam was not as good as I had hoped and has left me feeling a bit discouraged. But, after reading your blog you are so right- things will quiet down and it is SO important to enjoy the MOMENT. Lots of love to you and keep it up! Kathy and Odetta

  2. Such a sweet thing to say, Kathy! Thank you. I’m sorry you heard not-great news from the eye doc; I can relate, my A1c wasn’t great last time either. You know as well as I do about the ups and downs not only of diabetes but of life in general; keep on keeping on! Glad we can support each other. Many hugs to all the girls! Amy

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