I know not everyone is going to agree with me on this one; that is perfectly fine.  Sure, I’d like it if you saw my point of view and appreciated it and every now and then you could come over and agree, but I’m okay if you don’t.  I’d love to hear other sides to this one, too, so please feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

I don’t understand the point of the fighting.  Type one diabetes isn’t like cancer: fighting (more specifically the stress of fighting) doesn’t make living with diabetes any better.  In fact, the blood sugar swings stress can cause will in fact make living with type one more difficult.

I see the ones promoting “stick it to diabetes” really more the parents of type one kids than the kids themselves.  It makes me wonder: what are you fighting against?  Are you fighting against the considerable added work that having a type one kid involves?  Are you fighting against the type one kid being somehow different than her friends or siblings?

How is that fight helping the kid with type one?

I can understand fighting against antiquated notions of what living with type one means; shoot, that’s part of what I’m doing with Diabetes Outside.  I can understand fighting against limits uniformed people think a life with type one diabetes involves.

But the “I hate diabetes” campaign to me doesn’t achieve any progress on those fronts.

To me, celebrating a fight against a child’s type one diabetes takes everyone, child included, further from the goal of healthy living.

Diabetes isn’t like a tumor that can be excised from the body and, once removed, life returns to what it was before diagnosis. 

It just isn’t.

I’m not saying to stifle any fight; all emotions are useful to a point.  I just see so many people, again a lot of parents in this category, stuck in the fighting stage.  Being stuck doesn’t solve anything or make anything easier for the type one kid.

How can a child grow into a healthy strong teen, young adult and adult if something about them is something their parents visibly and vocally fight at every turn?

Look at the type ones you admire.  Listen to their messages.  Look at how they treat their own diabetes.  Do they fight the fact they have diabetes?  Do they fight the fact their pancreas doesn’t work? 

Or do they do their best, move past the uninformed person trying to use the disease to limit opportunities available, and: climb mountains, sit on the Supreme Court, sing on American Idol, travel the world to win a million dollars, advocate for equal treatment in the workplace, quarterback for the NFL, play major league baseball, write award-winning novels, make others smile and laugh, earn multiple graduate degrees, give back to the globe, care for the sick, and educate everyone around them.

See, there is a load of living we have ahead of us.  Make sure you are supporting those efforts and not spending too much energy stuck in one unproductive spot.

I was driving home this morning and listening to the radio; they had an ad about refinancing a home.  I thought about a couple people I could recommend this specific place to, saying I had heard their ad on the radio and if all were what it seemed, it could be a good deal.

But then I realized neither homeowner I had in mind would be very receptive to such a comment, and it made me curious.  I know as we get older some things become more and more taboo among friends for some reason. 

I may know it, but I don’t have to like it.

And then I thought of my friends with type one diabetes.  I don’t think anything is taboo with them.

They have an instant place in my heart where there isn’t any judgment—really; there isn’t.  No one asks questions that require explanation about a certain number, no one really even asks much at all: we each know what the daily struggles are and the ins and outs and in betweens.

It isn’t to say my other friends aren’t a million loads of support to me (seriously I wouldn’t want to make it through my day without them!) or to say that I ever want my health to be taboo.

I just want to acknowledge that living with diabetes is a pretty individual thing and someone who doesn’t live with it doesn’t always understand what it feels like—from the inside.

So my hats off and hugs around each of you who I know and each of you whom I don’t yet know.  You’re doing an awesome job being, well, awesome and living really great lives with diabetes.

You rock.

I did an amazing thing the other night: I went to bed by 9pm.  It was so exciting!  (I wake up at 5 every day so this would mean I was about to get 8 hours of sleep.  So thrilling.)

Except then my insulin hit: 56 before my head hit the pillow.  So, okay, except that I had a zillion units of active insulin still coming down the pike. 

Instead of juice, I had a soda to counteract the onslaught. 

And, 15 minutes later, I’m 76.  Still with the active insulin pending.  So, I ate an entire sleeve of saltines.  Alright.

And then 20 minutes after that I was back to 64. 

Another Sprite.

So, the entire time I’m trying to sleep and not able to fall asleep and I’m drinking and eating and geez.  So completely NOT hungry, and two full-sugar sodas are just not good for any person ever.  I don’t get to sleep until eleven.  (Now I’m down to 6 hours if you are counting like I was.)

And I’m thinking: why do I not want to announce that this is what is going on when I’m yawning at my bootcampers in the morning?

I realized the answer lies in a very natural reaction: I knew that anyone I told would wonder and ask WHY.  It’s the most natural response, of course, and yet that’s a major cornerstone of living with diabetes: sometimes there isn’t a very good answer to WHY. 

I think once you can accept that there isn’t going to be a single reason to answer each blood glucose number or each random response or insulin reaction, you’re on your way to accepting your life with diabetes.  Yes, it’s annoying.  Yes, it’s frustrating.  Yes, all of those things we don’t like because they mean we aren’t in control. 

Of course, a lot of times there are great and very important reasons for figuring out WHY: to avoid a future needless high or low, to avoid repeating dangerous patterns, to help us actually get enough sleep, to simply feel like we are living more normal or predictable lives.

But really, we aren’t living normal or predictable lives.  We always need to keep watch over ourselves and our physical needs.  With that, each day, we do our best and we have to be okay with that being enough.

I think that on the whole, we are all doing a durn fine job, thank you very much, dealing with all of the expectations and explanations that are a part of living with diabetes.  And if today or this week isn’t your greatest week, that’s okay.  Do your best and forgive yourself.  You deserve it. 

Every day.

(To address this for some of the more analytical and engineering types: there were about five or six things I believe all contributed simultaneously to my lows last night.  They aren’t worth listing, but it isn’t that I haven’t asked myself the question.)

Do you ever use your diabetes as an excuse to get out of doing something?   

It sounds dorky and pious, but I used it as an easy excuse to get out of drinking alcohol in high school and college.  (It meant I didn’t have to tell my friends I wasn’t interested in being as stupid as they were when they got drunk.  And I didn’t have to deal with my parents learning I ever drank.)

I know several people who have used their diabetes to skip lines at amusement parks.  I myself love that I always have an excuse to have food with me at places where no food is allowed… even if I’m not low and don’t need the food. 

I’m not talking about necessary reasons to avoid going to work or school if you are in DKA or need to do something for your health; I’m talking about knowing you actually can do something you’re supposed to do, and using diabetes as an excuse to avoid doing it because you simply don’t want to do whatever it is.

Those are the excuses I’m talking about.

I think we’re lucky that life with either type of diabetes doesn’t mean life in a hospital or a life with restrictions.  Yes, we need to pay super attention to things few others need to pay any attention to whatsoever.  Sure, it’s a difficult and draining thing to live day in and day out and watch every morsel of food and calculate and guess and be wrong much more often than we feel right…

… but it isn’t like our daily lives require us to avoid stairs or that we need help breathing.

I think other people living with other diseases and other physical limitations have it tough, too.  Like I always say, my diabetes is a thing… and we all have things. Some have a tortuous childhood, some have a missing limb, some have an incurable infection.  We all have things.

I will never forget the man in front of me at my first marathon who ran that dang thing on one leg.  I mean, who am I to complain I had to stop to check my blood sugar when this guy has one leg running twice the distance either of mine ran.  Sheesh.

People do some amazing things.  I use their words about excuses and limits to put some perspective on my life with diabetes:

“I never want to hear that I have limits; I want to push the envelope every day.”  – Brian Boyle, a 2004 car accident victim who was in a coma for 2 months with a narrow chance of surviving.  He had to relearn how to talk and walk… and who now succeeds at Ironman competitions.

“Setting goals… helps when your life has been turned around twice.  It’s kept me out of the pity pit.” –Nick Roumonada, a man who lost his leg to bacterial meningitis at age 13 and who at age 31 developed focal dystonia which impairs motor skills.  He manages his symptoms with running and marathon training.

 “…I worried about falling [as I ran the 2008 New York City marathon with 2 guides].  But I’m glad I did it.  I need to keep moving forward.” –Yuki Goto, a man who was in a 2006 car crash that left him with traumatic brain injury.  He still suffers from seizures, poor balance and double vision.

These are some amazing folks.  I think one of the most amazing things about each of them is that they probably don’t think they are very amazing at all!

Have a great day out there.  Don’t let anything hold you back!